12" vinyl, the only physical copy of the record available. Pressed on opaque blue suede shoe blue.
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lyrics
The bad times go so slowly, the good times never last.
I'm still waiting here, so lowly, in my prime and in my past.
Sticking to convention, fucked up all my plans.
So kick me under the bench, lug them all back in your hands.
I was gasping for a break, and I put me through it.
It never felt like a mistake, but it's not intuitive (for you) to be so cruel, and leave it high and dry way above the pool, like you always seem to do.
In my secret closet, I entomb open fire.
With a jerry-built composite of open wounds and old desires.
I let the smoke come through to me, I boasted and gloated endlessly.
Never good enough for you, and all the things you had me do.
Any other day I might have somehow found the mystery
But I have to say we're better off deleting history.
But I keep hoarding up my heart just for you.
That might sound pointless but it's what I'm supposed to
but I won't do it
I won't sit and dwell and watch it never yearn
I might as well never learn
and keep hoarding up my heart until it burns
I let the smoke come through to me, I boasted and gloated endlessly
Never good enough for you and all things you made me do
Who am I to say there ain't a truth inside this scrap heap bay
But i'll take my chances on this ash and ember dust cloud here today.
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